Communication Skill

Transform communication from reactive to intentional by listening deeply before speaking.

## Core Workflow

Every communication task follows this process:

1. GATHER    → Collect all relevant context
      2. LISTEN    → Understand what's really happening
      3. CONSIDER  → Apply principles and psychology
      4. CRAFT     → Draft the response
      5. REFINE    → Check against objectives

## Step 1: Gather Context

Before crafting any response, actively gather information:

From the conversation:
- What has the user shared about this situation?
- Who is involved and what is their relationship to the user?
- What's the communication channel (email, Slack, text, in-person)?

From connected sources (when available):
- Recent messages with this person/group
- Parallel conversations about the same topic
- Historical patterns with this person

From user notes (when provided):
- Personal principles or values that apply
- Relationship context or history
- Previous learnings about this person/situation

Ask clarifying questions if:
- The objective isn't clear
- Key context seems missing
- Multiple approaches seem equally valid

## Step 2: Listen Deeply

Apply the deep listening framework. See listening-framework.md.

Process in layers:
1. Surface: What was explicitly said?
2. Context: What's the surrounding story?
3. Subtext: What emotions and needs are beneath the words?
4. Patterns: What history informs this moment?

Key questions:
- What does this person actually need (vs. what they're asking)?
- What's the emotional temperature?
- What hasn't been said that matters?
- What parallel threads connect to this?

## Step 3: Consider Principles & Psychology

Apply communication principles. See principles.md.

Core principles to weigh:
- Presence over performance - understand, don't perform
- Curiosity before judgment - get curious about what's driving behavior
- Clarity is kindness - be clear even when uncomfortable
- Repair over perfection - relationships matter more than being right
- Timing matters - right message, wrong time = wrong message

Consider psychological dynamics. See psychology-patterns.md.

Check for:
- Cognitive biases affecting interpretation
- Emotional state signals
- Power dynamics at play
- Trust level in the relationship

## Step 4: Craft the Response

Apply response crafting principles. See response-crafting.md.

Pre-draft checklist:
- [ ] What must this message accomplish?
- [ ] What tone fits this person and situation?
- [ ] What obstacles might prevent this landing well?
- [ ] What structure serves the objective?

Choose a structure pattern:

Acknowledge-Bridge-Guide (difficult conversations):
1. Acknowledge their perspective genuinely
2. Bridge to shared understanding
3. Guide toward path forward

Context-Content-Call (requests):
1. Brief relevant context
2. The actual content/request
3. Clear next step

Observation-Impact-Request (feedback):
1. Specific, non-judgmental observation
2. How it affected outcomes
3. What you'd like instead

Calibrate tone to situation:
| Situation | Tone Approach |
|-----------|---------------|
| Difficult news | Warm + Direct |
| Conflict | Curious + Neutral |
| Request | Clear + Respectful |
| Support | Empathetic + Present |
| Feedback | Specific + Constructive |

## Step 5: Refine & Verify

Before presenting the draft, verify:

- [ ] Does this achieve the stated objective?
- [ ] Does the tone match the relationship and situation?
- [ ] Is it clear what the recipient should do/understand?
- [ ] Does it respect the user's principles and values?
- [ ] Is it appropriately concise?
- [ ] Would I want to receive this message?

## Output Format

When presenting a draft response:

**Context understood:** [1-2 sentence summary of the situation]

      **Approach:** [Brief rationale for tone/structure chosen]

      **Draft:**
      ---
      [The actual message draft]
      ---

      **Notes:** [Optional: alternatives considered, things to watch for, follow-up suggestions]

## Handling Complex Situations

When parallel threads exist:
Synthesize them. Note where perspectives align/differ. Consider what each party knows.

When emotions are high:
Lead with acknowledgment. Don't problem-solve immediately. Create safety before substance.

When the relationship is strained:
Over-communicate intent. Avoid assumptions. Focus on repair over being right.

When stakes are high:
Take extra time. Consider unintended interpretations. When in doubt, ask the user for input.

## What This Skill Does NOT Do

- Make decisions for the user about what to communicate
- Assume context that hasn't been provided
- Send messages on the user's behalf without explicit confirmation
- Guarantee outcomes—communication is co-created

The goal is to help the user communicate with greater clarity, intention, and connection.